Uncylopedia :D

[GiFos]

Mungkin sudah pada banyak yang tahu, tapi iseng2 kali aja ada yang belum tau. Uncylopedia adalah website parodi-nya mas Wikipedia . Isinya uancur asli bikin ketawa ^^;;;; Contohnya di bawah ini :

Originally Posted by mbakUncyl :P

The "Proof" of WW2

Many people say that as a result of WW2, most of Europe was left devastated by bombing and heavy fighting. This is again a lie. Some people believe it was due to global warming, but as any 4x4 owner knows, global warming is also bullshit. Some also use the popular scapegoat 9/11 but those events are yet to come.

Other so called "events" in World War II are also false. For example, everyone knows that the crappy film Pearl Harbor was just fiction and not based on any real happenings (could any real thing with that many explosions possibly be that bad? I think not!). Other people have cited the complete obliteration of Hiroshima and Nagasaki as proof, but of course these are just the result of battles between Godzilla and Mothra.

It is also worth noting that any time you come across memorabilia of this conflict, it is fake, and your best option is to either destroy it or sell it over eBay for a lot of money.

Atau kalau kita search "Evangelion", maka akan keluar...

This film is a classic coming of age tale, set in rural Japan. The film focuses on its lead character Shinji Ikari’s transition into womanhood. Shinji is a precocious young girl who lives with her father Gendo Ikari, a professor at the NERV institute. Shinji discovers a path in the nearby woods that leads her to discover a large creature known as the Evangelion. Together they go on an adventure to find a way to advance human evolution.

Over the course of the film, Shinji meets many characters, such as Oscar, Rei, Misato and many more. After they join her quest, the group has several adventures which all offer a moral.

First, Shinji’s friend Rei accidentally is killed, only to be revived. This is a repeating motif in the film, and shows that actions often lack consequences.

Next, Shinji gets into a fight with one of her friends, who was driven mad by bad berries. Shinji uses her Evangelion to fight her companion, and is forced to kill him. This offers the moral that sometimes in life we are forced into killing people we care about.

After that, Shinji’s friend Oscar, who was searching for her home, finally reaches her goal only to find that her mother had killed herself. The moral being that home is where the heart is. Subsiquently, Oscar does not relize this and ends up in a drug induced coma after getting beat up by herself. Shinji, being the sick and crazed person that she is, finds this to be the perfect time to pleasure herself over the body of a comatose (yet hot) girl.

Finally, Shinji and what is left of her friends and the Evangelion begin the instrumentality project to attempt to make everyone on earth happy. However through her adventures, young Shinji has grown up and now understands that humanity can all just get along if we work at it. Of course, if we all get along, there would be no need for cops and lawyers and therefore, more unemployed people.

The film closes with a montage of happy faces, and children of all colors and religion singing together in the streets.

[Black Rider]

Dan, kalo kita cari C&C, maka muncul :

Originally Posted by Unyil

Origin of original series

The Command and Conquer series began in 1995 with the first game Command and Conquer which was originally designed as a training program for the U.S. Military after a series of misprints in an offical CIA document. The document detailed an obscure cult who called themselves the brotherhood of God. This was misstyped as the brothehood of Nod. In addition the estimated membership was misprinted as 110,000 when it was in fact 11. Finally the status of the groups armaments was mistyped from 'none' to 'nuclear' This understandably resulted in a rather frantic panic within American military leadership who was suddenly convinced that the United States was about to come under attack from a cult composed of heavily armed troops with nuclear capability. Therefore they commissioned an emergency military training program. When the mistake was revealed and the appropriate people fired the CIA was left with a rather expensive computer program that was no use. So after some subtle changes the program was sold as the computer game Command and Conquer. Much to the surprise of the CIA who just wanted to recoup their losses the game was a smash success and Westwood the dummy company which was set up to market the game to the public had to be established as a proper company in order to create the demmanded sequels.

Command and Conquer- Red Alert

A little known fact about the 'Red Alert' Series is that it was not in fact created by the same people who created the original series. In truth the entire Red Alert series was the creation of a team of top scientists headed by Stephen Hawking and Chuck Norris. They had developed a time machine and much like Einstein in the game decided that returning to the past to remove Hitler from history would save a great many lives. After many calculations Chuck Norris was sent back to the trenches of World War 1 and just as a young Hitler survived the shell blast that destroyed the dugout he was sheltering in he was confronted and roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris thus removing him from history (such is the power of the Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.)Chuck Norris then returned to the present only to discover that by erasing Hitler the balance of power had been irrevocably shifted causing the cold war to become a full scale war just as it does in the game. The team of scientists were then struck with a problem, in order to return the world to its rightful state Chuck Norris must be stopped from removing Hitler. However if Chuck himself were sent back to stop it himself it might result in an irresistable force meeting and immovable object which had the danger of causing the implosion of the universe. So Mr T and Vin Diesel had to be swiftly recruited and sent back in time. Between them they managed to delay Chuck Norris long enough to allow Hitler to escape and history to proceed normally. The team of scientists having learnt their lesson about meddling with time created the Red Alert series to act as a cautionary tale to prevent anyone else trying a similar thing.

Command and Conquer - Generals

This game was the result of a horrific cosmic accident, one of earths greatest sorcerors was experimenting on dimensional magics and had discovered a dimension almost exactly like our own but where war was raging, however he made a cataclysmic error in the spell as he cast it and as a result the tear in reality threatened to engulf our world. Thinking quickly he realised he had to seal the rift and so transferred it into a computer game. This created Command and Conquer- Generals and as result anyone who plays it is taking a direct hand in the wars as they go on in this alternate dimension. The expansion Zero Hour came about when an arcane flux caused the rift to widen and the expansion had to be created to cover it.

Note: Winning the campaign mode unlocks nude pictures of the USA superweapon general and the China tank general.

Mbanyol...

[Radeonator]

SWETEH........

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Penis

"You can call me Dick"

~ Penis on himself

"I like it shaken, not stirred."

~ James Bond on Penis

"...Give it to us...raw and wrrrigling..."

~ Gollum on Penis

"I'm a member!"

~ Grandpa Simpson on Penii

"I just saw a turnip shaped like a thingy, which is ironic because I...have a thingy shaped like a turnip"

~ Baldrick on his collection of dangly objects

"In Soviet Russia, penis thrusts YOU!!"

~ Russian Reversal on Penis

The penis (Third Declension, p. nominative "penes," p. genitive "penum," p. dative "penibus," p. accusative "penes," p. ablative "penibus," s. nominative "penis," s. genitive "penis," s. dative "peni," s. accusative "penem," s. ablative "pene," conductive plural "penginolum", but more formally known as "single-eyed trouser snake") A diminutive form of dick.

When the woman is confronted with a beautiful penis, which it swiftly detects with its one good "I can see for miles" eye, it grows in size by sucking blood from the brains and thus reducing men's mental capacity. Or maybe it's the other way around. Never be too sure about these things.

The penis is often mistaken (by men) for a large and threatening appendage when in fact it is a rather endearing protuberance which most resembles a bald yet happy hamster poking out of a pair of boxer shorts. Women are also guilty of encouraging this delusion by using fraudulently enthusiastic encouragement before, during and after the sexual act. Phrases such as "Ooh get it away from me!" and "Holy shit I'm calling the police!" are just some of the phrases that women might use to conceal the sense of boredom and anti-climax that many women experience during sex with an unskilled male. A polite greeting for a woman or teenage girl to a man is to inspect his penis with a magnifying glass and then scoff. If it is of a sufficient length and girth he may (after certain other tests of skill and dexterity) be allowed to progress to sexual relations. If not he will be unceremoniously discarded in favour of a more promising specimen.

A vibrator is a good substitute for a penis. It is worth noting that vibrators do not usually deflate disappointingly after 2 minutes of half-hearted thrusting.

[Radeonator]

Why is PENIS so special?

1. Penis is not a banana or an apple.
2. You can use PENIS in hunting.
3. Do not use PENIS while playing Tennis, because it can hurt your pubic hair (if you haven't something else, whatever, will get hurt anyway).
4. Penis is magic : during a fine meal with your brother in law, show proudly your PENIS, and you'll know how special PENIS is by the face of your wife.
5. New studies have shown that women are able to contain penii as a plugin, but do not have them as a default attachment.
6. Penis works in both DVD and VCR appliances.
7. Penis is an acronym for "Penetrating envelope for nourishment in stimulation"

A man named Patrick May is generally creditted with the invention of the Penis, as can be seen from this website.

IN short, penis is what Pamela Anderson always wants. Micheal Jackson doesn't have, and MoneySign needs more of.


Three men in a row, showing off their athletic bodies, with their 21th finger exposed.


There are many penis worshippers who dedicate their whole life to perfecting the penis.

[panservib]

* This is Radio Yerevan. One of our listeners asked: "Does one get 10 years of prison for saying that Brezhnev is an idiot?"

We're answering: "In principle yes, because that's a state secret."

* Q: Is it true that half of the Central Committee of the Communist Party are idiots?

A: It is not true. Half of them are not idiots.

* Q: What is the difference between the Constitutions of the USA and USSR? Both guarantee freedom of speech.

A: In principle yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech.

* Q: Is it possible to solve a problem which has no solution?

A: We don't answer questions related to agriculture.

* Q: Why did they establish a Ministry of Navy in landlocked Armenia. Do you have a sea?

A: To spite Azerbaijan. They established a Ministry of Culture.

* Q: Were the people equal in USSR?

A: Yes, but some people were more equal than the others (a reference to George Orwell's Animal Farm)

* Q: What was permanent in the USSR?

A: Temporary difficulties.

* Q: What methods do our enemies use in their subversive work against the socialist state?

A: Such questions we discuss in our program "Useful Advice."

* Q: What is permitted and what is prohibited?

A: In England, what is permitted, is permitted, and what is prohibited, is prohibited. In America everything is permitted except for what is prohibited. In Germany everything is prohibited except for what is permitted. In France everything is permitted, even what is prohibited. In the USSR everything is prohibited, even what is permitted.

* Q: What is a one word joke?

A: Communism.

* Q: What is the longest joke?

A: The speech made by Khrushchev at the Party congress.

* Q: Is it true that Adam and Eve were the first communists?

A: Probably, yes. They both dressed very sparingly, they had modest requirements toward food, they never had their own house, and on top of all that, they believed that they were living in the paradise.

* Q: Why have Solzhenitsyn, Brodsky, Bukovsky, and other dissidents been exiled from the country?

A: Don't you know that the best products are always selected for export?

* Q: When will the economic situation become better?

A: Better? It was better already.

* Q: What has changed in our justice system since the death of Stalin?

A: It has become prohibited to shoot down the defendant before the announcement of the verdict.

* Q: Can bedbugs make a revolution?

A: In principle, yes, for in their veins flows the blood of peasants and workers.

* Q: Can you sit with a naked ass on a hedgehog?

A: In principle, yes - if the Communist party calls for it, if the ass belongs to somebody else or if the hedgehog is properly shaved.

* Q: Is it true that Russian U-boats hold the record for extended submersion?

A: In principle, yes. Two of them have been on the bottom since 1957.

* Q: How come Canada and the U.S. can sell us so much wheat?

A: The fault lies with the catastrophic capitalist overproduction.

* Q: What is the difference between socialism and capitalism?

A: Capitalism makes social mistakes, while socialism makes capital mistakes.

* Q: Can we pride ourselves with an exceptional achievement in Soviet agriculture?

A: In principle yes, we plant the crops and afterwards we receive the harvest from Canada.

* Q: Is it possible to wrap an elephant in a newspaper?

A: Yes, if the issue contains the theoretical considerations of Leonid Brezhnev.

* Q: Is it true Comrade Mikulin got 20 years in Siberia from libel on calling Leonid Brezhnev an idiot?

A: No. The sentence from libel was six months. The 19 years 6 months were from leaking out a national secret.

* Q: Is it true Mikulin was freed soon after that?

A: Yes. After Premier Brezhnev's speech in United Nations his condition ceased to be a national secret.

* Q: We have sent one of our best breeding bulls to Cuba, but he sits at the edge of the lawn, ruminates and has no intention to take care of the cows. What we should do?

A: We are afraid that nothing can be done. The bull probably thinks he has been sent as an advisor.

* Q: What should we do if the USA hits us with nuclear missiles?

A: Everybody must put on white shrouds and creep towards the nearest cemetery, very slowly.

* Q: Why very slowly?

A: To avoid panic.

* Q: How do you know a death certificate has been made out by a Soviet doctor?

A: The signature is under 'cause of death'.

* Q: Why did the Soviets invade Czechoslovakia?

A: To find the person who invited them.

* Q: When will they leave?

A: Once they find him.

* A man goes into the Bank of Gdansk in Poland to make a deposit. Since he has never kept money in a bank before, he is a little nervous. "What happens if the Bank of Gdansk should fail?" he asks. "Well, in that case your money would be insured by the Bank of Warsaw." "But, what if the Bank of Warsaw fails?" "Well, there'd be no problem, because the Bank of Warsaw is insured by the National Bank of Poland." "And if the National Bank of Poland fails?" "Then your money would be insured by the Bank of Moscow." "And what if the Bank of Moscow fails?" "Then your money would be insured by the Great Bank of the Soviet Union." "And if that bank fails?" "It is insured by the government of Soviet Union." "And if it fails?" "Well, in that case, you'd lose all your money. But, wouldn't it be worth it?"

* Radio Yerevans last minute news: The winners of -74 socialist cuckoo-clock competition (OK, we are a bit out of date - even as the head of broadcasting has been doing time). The purpose of the competition was to find new, anti-bourgeois cuckoo-clock-models for the masses:

3rd prize: Cuckoo comes out of the clock every hour saying "Lenin!"
2nd prize: Cuckoo comes out, says "All the proletariat of the world, unite!"
1st prize: A small Lenin comes out of the clock and says "cuckoo, cuckoo..."

* TASS: Yesterday, on the Soviet-Chinese border, Chinese soldiers disguised as peasants opened fire on a peaceful Soviet tractor. Our tractor returned fire, neutralized the intruders, and flew away...

* A variant of the joke continues as follows: "According to the statement of General-Lieutenant Ivanov, the head of the collective farm to which the tractor belonged, plows, planters and a VTOL combination harvester 'Niva' will be used to repel any further aggression attempts."

* Q: Is it true that people are healthier in Russia than in USA?

A: Certainly. Think about the American national obesity problem.

* Q: Comrade editor, is it correct that the Americans have dwarves?

A: In principle yes, but the Soviets are larger.

* Alla Pugacheva calls incognito radio Yerevan's office:

- Could you please tell me what the meaning is of the word “jubilee”?
- That's when you are surrounded with many flowers and you are still alive!

* Q: What is the difference between the dollar and the ruble?

A: The dollar is covered by gold (used to), while tanks cover the ruble.

* First question:

- What would be best for the people: to raise the cost of living and then the salaries or vice-versa?
- We don't want to comment on political issues.

Second question:

- What kind of night-gown should the bride wear during the first matrimonial night, satin or cotton?
- It doesn't actually matter, either way she's going to get screwed. The same also applies to the first question.

* Q: Would it be possible that one would have shot Nikita Khrushchev instead of JFK?

A: In principle yes, but it is questionable whether Onassis would have taken the widow...

* Q: How can I overcome the fear from a dentist?

A: Think of it as the only place you can open your mouth freely.

* Q: Is it true that the Soviet Government gave Evgheny a brand new black Mercedes?

A: Yes, it is true, only that it was not black it was red, it wasn't a Mercedes it was a Zhiguli, and they didn't give it TO him, they took it FROM him.

* Hello, Radio Yerevan?

- Yes.
- Yesterday I was listening to a very interesting political discussion on your station, but today I can barely hear you. What is wrong?
- Since today we are airing from Siberia.

* Radio Yerevan kindly informs its listeners: Our chief editor used to live right across the street to county prison. Since late last week he works right across the road to his home.

* Q: How long will it take still to reach socialism?

A: Eighteen kilometers. Each Five Year Plan takes us one step closer to socialism.

* Q: What is the principal difference between capitalism and communism?

A: Lenin said "Communism is the Soviet regime plus electricity in the whole country". Therefore the difference is the same as with a chair and an electric chair.

Radio Yerevan.............

[arni]

Originally Posted by Radeonator

IN short, penis is what Pamela Anderson always wants. Micheal Jackson doesn't have, and MoneySign needs more of.


Three men in a row, showing off their athletic bodies, with their 21th finger exposed.


There are many penis worshippers who dedicate their whole life to perfecting the penis.

itu picture2 bs kena RUU APP lho...

[laziale]

wakakaka

[Radeonator]

yang ini malah lebih parah lagi, gila.... mainnya ke agama loh, apa gak salah tuh. O___O

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Original_Jesus
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Raptor_Jesus
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/ultra_Jesus